What a year can do

This week has me feeling extremely nostalgic.  It was one year ago when we packed up the red suburban and left Buffalo, NY on our journey south.  It is crazy how one year can feel like just yesterday and at the same time a lifetime ago.  I want to just share with you what I see when I look at the past year.

Sending off party with family and friends in WNY.

The first thing that comes to mind is it was one year ago that my mom, Darlene, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and this week she finished her final chemo treatment!!!  Thank you so so much for all of your prayers for her!!

Mom with my "twin sister" Vicki.

Of course it was just over a year ago that we realized we had sweet Rebekah on the way, what a beautiful gift from the Lord she is to us!  I am constantly grateful that the Lord knows exactly what will bless us the most, and he gave us this sweet sweet baby.  One year ago I had no idea just how much joy the Lord was preparing in this sweet little package.

A year ago we were excited about missions, knew the Lord was calling us to give of ourselves, we knew it would be difficult, but we knew it would be glorious.  I no longer plan my next step by what I can or cannot do, but I know look to see what the Lord is asking and just keep pushing forward.  I know that if I am exhausted the Lord will give me just enough energy to do his will, if I have to communicate He will give me just enough words, if I have too much on my plate He will give me just enough time (and often a companion to help!!).  A year has taught me a little more how to look at the Lord's strength, not mine.

A year in has shown me the blessing of all of you journeying with us.  I see even more now just how steadfast your friendships are, how you continue to walk with us, pray for us, love us, and support us.  I can't tell you how much my heart aches to spend time with everyone back home.  Your steady love and support despite the miles and with such little communication mans more to me (and the rest of the family) than you will ever know.

On the flip side, this year has shown me how good the Lord is on his promise when he said "everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother...or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much".  Over this past year we have been blessed to get to know so many more people that we will forever love as part of our FMC family.  (And we literally hosted 100+ people total in our home through June and July, He wasn't kidding when He listed the returns in the 100's).

A year has changed the way I pray.  I see my weaknesses and shortcomings more clearly.  I know I don't deserve His mercy, and I certainly am not equipped to be His missionary, but I have Jesus who walks by me step by step.  He could share His love with others in a way that is more efficient, through someone who knows the culture, the language, and the way of life here, but He chose me, he chose my family because that will show his Glory so much more clearly because we are such an unlikely choice for the job.  So when I pray I am clinging to the One who walks with me, who knows the plan and will share it with me one step at a time.  When I pray I am even more honest with the Lord than I was before.  I can share exactly what my struggles are, exactly what is on my heart without reservation.  I learned that with my completely honest prayers (and sometimes tears) He can do so much more work in me and through me than if I came to him with prayers that sound like I feel like they should sound.

A year has changed the way I see people and my surroundings.  I learned to listen closer to people.  Not speaking the language here has changed how I observe what is going on around me.  When I can't understand the words I find I look in to people's eyes more to try and understand them.  I observe more of what and who is nearby.  I pay more attention to the moods of individual people and of the crowds.  I am more aware of who is doing what nearby.  I don't do these things because I am nervous, I do them because I want to learn, to get to know the people here.  I observe because there is so much to understand, and we have only just begun.  I observe because when I am truly looking around the Lord can show me who he wants to reach out to through me, and He can only do that if I can see everyone around me as someone who may need to experience God's love through us.

A year has changed the way I write my to-do lists.  I always write my lists as options, knowing full well the Lord has been given permission to direct my days.  Some days those lists are checked off, but the best days are the ones when the Lord's list for the day looks way different than mine.  Those are the days I am so thankful for this life where the Spirit can blow where He wills and we get swept in to a little part of that plan.

This year has even changed me a little physically.  I have gotten accustomed to living at a high altitude, in the desert, in the heat, where the sun is stronger than I have ever experienced before.  (I am a little nervous for what Buffalo will feel like in December, we are praying that the heated blanket back there still works).  I have walked more miles with the stroller than ever before.  I laugh now whenever I read Romans 10:15 that says "how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."  (Saint Paul certainly knew what wearing sandals in a desert climate would do to our feet.  It may have been a tongue-in-cheek kind of statement.)

With all of these experiences over the past year I overwhelmingly thankful.  Thankful for our family and friends.  Thankful for all the miracles we have see the Lord work.  Thankful the Lord is so patient with me as He tries to teach me.  Thankful that we have Heaven to look forward to where we will understand the answers to all the "Whys", where there are no more injustices, where there aren't miles separating us, and those we love are all sharing the same banquet with us.  I am thankful for today and this crazy and amazing journey the Lord has us on, and how much He shows His immense love to us.

Please pray for us this coming week, we will be taking a 3 day family retreat to pray for direction for where the Lord is directing our mission work for this upcoming year.  Know you all are in our prayers constantly!!  Thank you for sharing this journey with us!