Hello Kentucky, A Hobbit’s Tale, and Other Reflections.

Hello Kentucky!   As we crossed Ohio River on Monday I was reminded of last time we were in the Bluegrass State.   It was about 13 months ago when we travelled down to Family Missions Company for a Come and See week and the opportunity to begin to really get a feel for FMC.   With most of Maria’s family living in Dayton and some living in Cincinnati and Columbus, Southern Ohio has always been in our normal circle of travels.   Crossing the river marks leaving our sphere of familiarity.   When we made this voyage last year I was reminded of one of my favorite scenes from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

Even if you don’t share in my affinity for Middle Earth and Tolkien lore, I trust that the magnitude of this clip speaks for itself.   Last summer, we found ourselves stretched outside our comfort zones and our provincial lifestyles and perspectives.   I found myself having doubts, “Am I crazy?   What kind of husband and father would take his family of seven over 2,600 miles, on a round trip journey from Buffalo to the Louisiana Golf Coast in only ten days?”   How did Abraham feel when he left home?   How did Peter and Andrew feel after they responded to Jesus’s invitation to come and follow Him and to become fishers of men?   I would imagine their initial excitement was followed by some reservations.

Overtime, the Apostles changed.   Abraham changed.   Frodo, Samwise, and Bilbo before them, changed.   Their hearts could never go back to the way things were.   They had tasted something that took root into their souls.   It gave them life.   It gave them purpose.   It transformed them, building off their true nature and identities, and bringing them into their own, into whom they were meant to be.   There is grace in the invitation, in the challenge, in the dying to self, in the being born anew.  

We had completed the Come and See and returned home.   We had gone there and back again.  We knew our heart’s longed to be elsewhere.   And while God made it abundantly clear that for the past year we were called to be in Buffalo, He had planted sprouting seeds for missions.

Before leaving for the Come and See last summer, we told family and friends, this trip could end up like when God called Abraham to offer Isaac. Abraham demonstrated his faith and obedience, and God stopped him, telling him not to harm the boy.   At the end, everything seemed to go back to how things were.   The sacrifice that would have cost Abraham what was most dear to his heart was not actually needed, and he had passed the test.   If I may be so bold to compare myself with Abraham, this is where the parallel breaks down.   What happens when the sacrifice is no longer seen as a loss, but a blessing?   What happens when it becomes a bigger sacrifice if the opportunity were to be taken away, for the door to be shut?   We could no longer say that our adventure could end up like the offering of Isaac.

When I have my moments of doubts, I go back to advice given by St. Ignatius of Loyola.   When making a decision between two or more goods, consider which choice you would have wished you made when looking back over your life at the moment of death.   Is raising a family and living in Buffalo a good thing?   Yes.  Is living near family and very dear friends a good thing?  Yes.  Is a career as a religion teacher at an all boy Jesuit High School a good thing?  Yes.   Is doing ministry at our home parish, teaching NFP, offering spiritual direction, homeschooling, etc.  good things?   All yes.   When on my deathbed, looking back over my life and preparing to go fully into the loving arms of my Heavenly Father, would I regret not trying, for perhaps only two years, serving the poor and sharing the Gospel as His missionary?  Yes.

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.  You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

Since leaving Western New York last week, we have been blessed to spend so much time with Maria’s family, to visit and stay with many of them.   The timing could not have been better so that we were able to make it to Maria’s cousin, John, and Sarah’s wedding in Indianapolis.   What a joyful opportunity to see many extended family members!   We slated the beginning of this week for focusing on just our family, spending three days and two nights at Mammoth Caves.   It has been good.  My mind has occasionally drifted back to Canisius High School as classes start this week.   And while I miss teaching and my students, I know this is where I am suppose to be.   I consider myself so blessed to be doing missions with my best friend and wife and with our beautiful children, to be missionaries as family.  God is good.