As missionaries, we feel often inadequate in ministry situations. Especially when there is a language barrier. Sometimes we don't have the words to say, we don't understand the details of the particular situation and we feel that we are fumbling through the moment. We pray that people are sincere when they say, "thank you" and "that really helped." We thank people for inviting us to journey with them through their situation, to please come back, and we place our trust in God. The experience of wishing we could do more often follows as we are faced with our own limitations. Others affirm us and reiterate that God is using us, but we doubt. Being the minister and giver can blind us from God's grace in the moment.
Nieces and nephews visiting Dad
Until we have the opportunity to sit in the other chair. When the tables are turn, we become the receiver, the one who is comforted rather than the one who is comforting. A couple days after arriving in Allende on January 26, we learned that my Dad, John, was in the hospital. During Christmas he had slowed down. Considering his recovery from his broken back about a year ago and the cold Western New York weather, we thought that this may turnout to be the new normal. However shortly after heading back into missions, Dad began to lose sensation and mobility in his legs and he quickly declined. Following an alarming morning and a visit to the ER, doctors found a tumor on his spine at top of his surgery from last winter. Several tests later and after surgery to remove the compression around the spine, it was revealed that Dad has metastasized prostate cancer (CRPC to be specific). What does this mean for Dad and Mom? What does this mean for my sibling and their families? How does this affect us and missions? Feelings of guilt for being afar returned in a similar fashion to when Maria's mom struggled with breast cancer, or when my Dad was in the car accident.
In this dark and confusing places, God, reaches in with His love, warmth, and light. We have already received God's blessings through the generosity of Tonio and Mari Garza, community leaders, multiple times throughout this past year. Even though Tonio didn't have the words to comfort me in English, he is here. His presence, a hug, the compassionate look in his eyes, knowing that he is praying makes a huge difference. A couple weeks ago we had an hour of adoration and prayer in the chapel as a missionary community. I held back the tears as I made out bits and pieces of Tonio's prayer for my father in Spanish. It is my turn to lean on another, and to find God's grace and His mystical body in the friends and companions He has placed in my life. Despite what might be perceived as a deficiency due to language, Tonio's pastoral care is more than sufficient as a vehicle of God's grace.
Tio (Uncle) Tonio and Rebekah
The Prayer of St. Francis includes lines like, "Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console," and, "For it is in giving that we receive." Sometimes God's grace is in being the receiver. We need to lean on each other, upon the Body of Christ. I realize I don't have to be perfect; I don't have to be have the words, or know the language, or have the answers. It is not my ministry, it is God's. Perhaps it is through being ministered to, that I can learn this lesson that God's grace and greatness doesn't depend upon me even when He chooses to work through me.
Life continues since returning to Mexico. Here are some updates...
We spent two weeks searching for our new house and setting it up. Houses in Mexico come a little differently then what we are use to in the U.S. Literally houses come with nothing but bare walls, windows, exterior doors, and maybe an interior door. There were simple light fixtures, plugs and switches, but only one light bulb. There were no kitchen counters, cupboard, sink, or any appliances. The bathroom did have a tile bathtub, a sink and toilet, but there were no knobs on the bathtub. There was also no hot water heater or gas tank.
Kitchen/ living room
School room/ family room
Kids' bedroom
Master bedroom
Biggest bathtub we have ever had!
Patio
Andy helping the kids build their bunk beds
God has blessed us with a generous landlord who is putting in several home improvements and we have a generous missionary community who has helped us with appliances and custom bunk beds.
Paintings from our old home make it feel like home
Girls' bunk bed with storage
Boys' bunkbed
New kitchen counter
We have also been busy taking evening classes at the parish training us to be extraordinary ministers that are able to give communion to the home-bound ill and elderly and lead communion and liturgy of the word services in chapels. We had the opportunity to put the training into practice at an Ash Wednesday service. Maria rocked her reflection on the Lenten School of the Cross!
Last Friday we were graced to be received as a community by our local bishop, Bishop Alonso Gerardo Garza Treviño in Piedras Negras.
We arrived last weekend back in Guadalajara for four weeks of language school. Tonio and the Schmidt family are joining us, albeit, Tonio is here for four hours a day of intensive language courses in English! It is so exciting to think where God might use Tonio in ministry. We leave Guadalajara on March 17. Maria and the kids will then travel back to Allende with the Schmidts and Tonio. I plan on flying back to Buffalo for a week to help and visit Dad as he will need someone with him 24/7 and will probably begin chemo and radiation treatments around that time.
Please pray for my Dad, Mom, and the rest of my family.
